Are you curious how it’s done? How we seem to ‘have it all’? Ride horses, have families, professional careers.. you know, how we’re “living the dream”???

Did you ever hear the duck analogy? It’s the one where a duck—actually, let’s go with a swan—a swan who appears to glide effortlessly across the water, exuding grace and calm, feathers unruffled.

Do you know what’s going on under the surface? Those legs are paddling furiously to keep things moving and her life in order.

Yeah, that us.

For most of us adult amateurs, that swan is our spirit animal. From the outside, we might seem like we’ve got it all together—posting show photos, enjoying idyllic sunset rides, or sharing highlight reels of life with our horses.

But below the surface? We’re paddling like hell! We’re juggling career and family responsibilities, making sacrifices, and sometimes burning the candle at both ends just to make it all work.

Here’s a peek at how I juggle my own version of adult amateur chaos:

These are a few of the hats I wear

1. Mom and Default Parent (IYKYK)

Parenting is a full-time gig in itself. For me, that means doing school wake-ups, breakfast, lunches, the get-out-of-the-house shuffle, homework, dinners, birthday parties, dentist appointments, haircuts, you name it, I’m doing the lion’s share of it. Oh, and there’s hockey… so. much. hockey.

But my son is my priority, and I really do love #momlife. Whether it’s playing a game, chatting about his day, or defrosting after another hockey practice, it’s all part of the ride.

2. Consultant – Because, It Pays the Bills

There are bills to pay and horses to feed.

I run my own business as a professional head hunter, which gives me the flexibility to work from home and set my own hours. That flexibility is the secret sauce that allows me to work in the wee hours of the early morning, squeeze in a ride during school hours, free up evenings for family time hockey, and all the other adulting.

3. Business Owner – Because, Why Not?

On top of consulting, I run a small online business. It started as a hobby but has grown into something that helps offset the cost of horse ownership.

It’s a creative outlet that brings me so much joy I’d probably do it even if it didn’t make money. But running So You’re Going To Buy A Horse? isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it kind of business, it’s definitely another spinning plate in my circus of madness!

4. Adult Amateur Horse Owner

The barn is my happy place. It’s my physical, mental and emotional well-being. I’m better at wearing all my life’s hats when one of those hats is regularly a helmet.  

I’m there 4-5 days a week, usually during the day when it’s quiet. My lesson schedule shifts depending on work, and I’ve got a leasor who rides Annie twice a week. When I can’t make it, I have barn friends and other Ammys that can ride Annie for me. I’ve got an awesome team.

5. Wife – Partner to My Other Half

My husband is the unsung hero of this whole operation. He’s an amazing cook (thankfully, because dinners would otherwise be cereal), and he handles afternoon school pick-ups, and often takes the lead on organizing hockey (so I just have to show up). Such a champ.

On top of all that, he reminds me to slow down and spend quality time together. Family time is important, even when life is full.

6. Dog Mom – Getting My Steps In Since 2016

Twice a day, without fail, my dog makes sure I get moving. With everything else on my plate, there are days when it feels like a lot to juggle, but I’ve learned to embrace these walks as a chance to reset.

I often multitask during the walks—catching up on a business podcast or chatting with my team—but on days when I’m feeling stretched, I try to turn these walks into my moment to pause and shift gears. It’s the perfect way to recharge and prepare for the next task, so I’m ready to dive back into whatever’s next when we return.

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So that picture perfect show photo? Yeah, that Ammy was probably using her PTO to be at the horse show (instead of a family vacation).

Those fun-filled Saturdays at the barn she posted? That laundry, pile of dishes and last nights take-out are still waiting for her when she gets home.. after she walks the dog.

So yeah, that’s most of us.

A Community That Makes It Possible

And finally, none of this would work without help. Whether it’s a supportive partner, family, friends, or a barn community, having people to lean on makes all the difference.

So, to every adult amateur out there paddling like hell below the surface, trying to make it all work: You’re not alone. I see you, and you’re absolutely crushing it (even if it doesn’t feel like it some days).

And if you’re trying to figure out how you’ll make it all work, hear this: You will. We all do. You’ll be in good company.

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